How did you find out about your husband's adultery? When did you know?

Women asked this after I sent a text message to them that  

"Hi, I think you know my husband Ty Curtis King. Would you say this relationship is platonic?"

The paper phone bill arrived at the house. Normally, I wouldn't open that because I've seen his phone... but recently he's been very possessive of it, and when my parents were here two weeks ago, I saw a text from "Erin" pop up, which he then explained there are only two women and I'm lonely, Ash.  I tried whole-heartedly to reassure him, I'm here for our love, I am 100% faithful to only you. We took a long walk and he showed me he texted Erin back to say he's married and ending the conversation. Never met up with her. 

I don't mind my husband having female friends, but I definitely want to meet them before they are texting late at night, and definitely no early morning winky-faces, no sexting!

I opened the phone bill, a detailed statement with a purchase for Tinder Plus. I logged in to the online account, and saw millions of text to repeated numbers (9/1/17-9/23/17). I typed those into facebook or a search engine, then called all the younger females that came up.



Ashley understands Ty has a past and they work through this together. But both people have to be 100% committed to move forward in love and acceptance. We also need to fix ourselves and love from deep within, before we can truly unconditionally love another person. 

Ty knows about the website and has mixed feelings. Ashley is proud of their family, their love and strength.  

Ty is owning his choices that got him here. He is a great father to Canon and always wanted to be a father. Still, he has children born in 2015 to 3 different women, one being Ashley whom he deeply, truly, fully fell in love with and would have given his life for. Two other women pregnant within days each other and before Ty met Ashley. Yes, how shocking; Ashley and Ty worked through this together because they knew they had a stronger bond and budding family. Ty, the eternal optimist, put in the greatest effort to win back Ashley' love and approval.

Ty and Ashley fell in love after months of playing 20 questions every day, video chats, learning about each other's families. After they got pregnant, they were both excited to start their family together! Ty dedicated his whole world to this pregnancy and being reliable for Ashley, attending every OB appointment with her and always there meet her needs. Cleaning, cooking, hiking slowly with her up the mountains, making Ashley's pregnancy comfortable wonderful.

The birth of their son came a month early and is a highlight for them both. Ty created play list of music for labor and after their son's birth. The best labor coach any woman could have, and even read books on being a doula! The nurses had endless complements for Ty and with the love Ty has Ashley their son.

Like many relationships, there were rough patches to work through. One being Ty's grief and shame. While Ashley worked through these in different way, Ty became more withdrawn as more grief events seemed to rock his world time and again. Ashley stood by his side unsure of how to help, but entirely committed to his healing for the health of their family. He had ups and downs.

Ty told Ashley, he didn't have any interest in the women from his past, flings and one-night stands happened only in the dark days when his brother was gone. He genuinely wanted to be in those children's lives but not in the women's lives and they didn't give him the option. These feelings didn't initially destabilize Ashley's trust in Ty. Until they did. Ashley wanted their family to be his first and only. But how to you change the past? Ty said, "You're giving in. That's what she wants to happen by emailing you and badgering your family with lies about me!" But Ashley said, you have to prove it. 

Ashley began sheltering heart from and asking more proof of his love and honesty and pulling away.

"You and Canon are my whole heart," he would always say. Ashley found him texting other women she hadn't met yet. And texting often. He swears these are "only words I told other women and what I thought she wanted to hear... I didn't pursue her... you are my whole heart and I have not been with any other woman besides you... I didn't have any physical contact with any woman except you since we met and started dating in September 2014."  Ty says he knows what he did wrong and regrets going outside instead of delving deeper into our love.

Ashley and Ty have now to heal a deep wound as they begin intense marriage counseling.

To Ashley, they were making a family, committed to each other in addition to personal individual growth. But she's no push over, which Ty loved and hated about her.  Ashley sees the big picture, and felt Ty's deep adoring love of her. Knows it in his eyes, that he can't handle even the thought of losing her. Until she shut him out. 

Can't change the past; so, accept this and move forward! With plans to grow together and make a perfect family for themselves, they studied together ways to improve their marriage. They studies many marriage lessons, learned the languages of love and put them into practice. They shared a journal to explore a deeper connection if anything was too hard to say in person. Ty put it into practice the love languages. Ashley came home from work to scavenger hunts of love and learning more about each other. Ty loves Ashley's sense of adventure but sometimes found her curiosity as annoying as a child asking, "but why" to every answer.  

Recently, Ty has distanced himself, Ashley put up boundaries for protecting herself, and then Ty disappeared for a few days. He said he was working on some internal issues. At that time, Ashley felt something was off and asked that they officially take 3 weeks of not talking to allow for reflection on each other's part in this breakdown. Both agreed to not pursue anyone for this time, and go "within" to repair. They even put details of a definition of cheating into writing. And Ashley didn't go even 24 hours without reaching out over and over to check up on Ty.

Then, Ashley learned about Ty's online dating. For her, that was the last broken promise she could handle.

Once caught, Ty denied it, then admitted to connections and knowing he'd crossed the red line in Ashley's mind.

As another apology, Ty send Ashley a beautifully-composed and most eloquently recited letter that expressed his greatest desire to fix the relationship. As he has done with great consistency since they met, he touched her heart with his ability to recognize her fear, desire and needs. Then make promises... but this time, Ashley asked for a divorce. She wanted to hit the RESET for them both. Unknown to Ty, she thought this would actually kick him into high gear with the thought of losing his family. Instead, demoralized again, Ty walked away.

At this very same time Ashley put in effort and began again showing Ty her excitement of his personal growth and love of him, he was already dating other women. 

On a deep level, within the grandest plan of the world, Ashley wishes and prays things work out, after Ty no longer gives into compulsive behaviors. 

Ashley brought out the best in Ty, he said. Ashley still loves Ty unconditionally, but obviously forgiveness has its limits when it is taken advantage of by a self-inflicting "victim". 

Unfortunately, Ty canceled couples counseling. You can't force someone to change, as Ashley stood back to wait.

He has a great mind, warm touch, and has all the potential to be a great father, but Ty tells half-truths in an effort to protect himself or "protect" his loved ones. 

If you're considering a relatinoship with Ty Curtis King, you already know he used some other names. Beck Carver, Kastle King, Darryl, Battleyard Films. He an amazing writer and photoshop wizard, who edits and works on TV shows like Black Sails and King Arthur. His skills exceed nearly anyone else. He's a true talent.